Of course, you want to raise your little one with a good character, full of confidence, and independence. However, in the journey of raising him, sometimes you unknowingly apply inappropriate or even negative parenting patterns. This ineffective parenting pattern can have a negative impact on your little one's emotional, social, and mental development. Therefore, it is important for you to recognize and avoid negative parenting patterns so that his growth and development can run optimally.
What is Negative Parenting Pattern?
Negative parenting is a parenting style that does not support healthy and optimal child development. This parenting style is often characterized by a lack of attention to the child's emotional needs, too much control, or even giving excessive freedom without clear boundaries.
When negative parenting patterns are applied continuously to your little one, he can grow into a person who has difficulty adapting, lacks self-confidence, or even shows aggressive behavior.
Here are some examples of negative parenting patterns that are often applied without parents realizing it:
1. Parenting Pattern Comparing Your Little One
It is very possible that you often compare him to other children, be it siblings, classmates, or even neighbors' children. Although the intention is to motivate him to perform better, the impact can be the opposite.
If he is constantly compared, he will feel less confident, inferior, and even feel unappreciated. In the end, this can make him grow into a person who does not believe in his own abilities.
If you have already implemented this parenting style, you should stop immediately. Instead, focus on his potential and strengths. Support him in exploring his own interests and talents, and avoid comparing him with other children. Every child has uniqueness and a different rate of development, so it is important for you to accept and support him as he is.
2. Authoritarian Parenting Style
Authoritarian parenting is a parenting style in which parents set very strict rules and demand absolute obedience from their children. In this parenting style, you may not give your little one room to express their opinions or participate in decision-making. All rules are made unilaterally by you, and he is required to obey them without exception. In addition, authoritarian parenting often uses physical punishment or threats as a way to discipline him.
The result of this parenting style is that he becomes afraid to make decisions, cannot control his emotions, and tends to be less independent. He may grow up with a deep fear of authority and is less able to express his feelings well. It is important for mothers to give him space to learn to make his own decisions, with the right guidance of course.
3. Permissive Parenting Style
In contrast to authoritarian parenting, permissive parenting tends to be too loose. Parents who apply this parenting style usually give their children full freedom without setting clear boundaries. The little one is allowed to do whatever he wants, and most of his wishes are fulfilled by the mother. This parenting style is often done with the intention of making him happy, but without realizing it, it has a bad impact.
Children who are raised with permissive parenting tend to grow up to be selfish, have difficulty respecting rules, and lack self-discipline. He may have difficulty adjusting to an environment that has stricter rules, such as at school or at work later. Therefore, it is important for mothers to set clear and consistent boundaries in educating him, while still giving him space to develop.
4. Parenting Patterns That Disagree Between Father and Mother
This parenting pattern occurs when Father and Mother have different approaches in educating children, and there is no understanding between the two. For example, Father may be more strict in setting rules, while Mother tends to be more permissive and often allows the Little One to break the rules.
This disharmony can confuse the Little One, because he does not know which rule to follow. In many cases, children will generally tend to side with the more lenient parent and fulfill their wishes.
To avoid this negative parenting pattern, Father and Mother need to discuss and find a mutual agreement regarding the rules and boundaries that will be applied. Consistency in parenting patterns is very important so that the Little One is not confused and knows what is expected of him.
5. Parenting Pattern Using Rewards
Many parents use rewards or promises as a way to motivate children to behave well. Although it seems effective at first, this method can have a negative impact in the long run.
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