Is It Normal If Your Little One Often to Say "No"?

Morinaga Platinum ♦ 1 May 2017

Is It Normal If Your Little One Often to Say

Lately, does the Little One often argues with Mommy? No matter whatever the situation, definitely the answer is "No", although Mommy has been always speaking softly when asking him/her to do something. Is this attitude of your Little One, normal or not?

"The Little One has just understood that he/she has his/her own wishes. So, the simple reason why the Little One always looking like he/she is in the opposite opinion from Mommy is that because he/she can now do many things and wants to practice them," as explained by Susanne Denham, associate professor of growth psychology and author of Emotional Development in Young Children.

A study conducted by John Sargent, MD, professor of child psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine, United States shows that toddlers age 2-3 years can argue or say “No”, 20-25 times per hour. That means he/she will argue once every 3 minutes. Wow.

As Susanne explains above, all of the Little One's behavior is a normal developmental process. However, Mommy must continue to guide the Little One so that the attitude does not continue until he/she grows big.

What can be done to face the Little One? Mommy must be able to withstand emotion. Although it is difficult, but arguing the Little One by using high notes is not the right solution. Mommy's outburst or high notes will actually make the Little One be more defensive and aggressive. Inhale, say gently but firmly that his/her attitude is not right. Also apply the tips below:

Use positive sentences

Avoid using negative sentences when prohibiting the Little One in doing something. Sentences containing the word "do not" will actually provoke a reply from the Little One.

Give the Little One the freedom to decide on something

One of the moments that could be a session of continuous arguing is when the Little One should wear clothes after bathing. To fix this, Mommy can try to offer the Little One to choose clothes and wear them himself/herself. Generally, children will feel more prouder and happier when he/she can make decisions and do something for himself/herself.

Create a fun atmosphere

Mommy indeed often have to think over and over again to find an idea so that the Little One is willing to do something without arguing. For example, when he/she refuses to take a bath, Mommy could put some toy blocks in the bathroom and pretend to be a fireman saying, "Come, help Mommy to extinguish the fire!"

When the Little One is obedient, give appreciation, provided it is not excessive. This appreciation can make him/her be more confident and proud of himself/herself.

It needs to be noted by Mommy, that in any level of emotion, avoid actions such as pinching, punching, or similar physical punishment. This kind of punishment will not make him be respectful or disciplined. It only adds fear, insecurity, and risks making the Little One to be traumatized.

The Little One often says "No" because he/she is learning about a desire and a will. Point his/her curiosity in a positive way. Another way that Mommy can do to support the learning process is to provide nutrients that contain DHA, choline, and iron. All three of these nutrients will accelerate the ability to comprehend, strengthen memory, and increase the concentration of the Little One when learning.

The arguing phase is indeed one of the growth stages of the Little One and will soon pass. Do the tips above so that Motmmy and the Little One can get through this phase smoothly. Keep up the spirit, Mommy!